Cursed Superstitions.

I moved to Kelowna in August (2012), and within the 6 months that I’ve spent as a Kelowna resident – I’ve seen more silver, Hyundai Tiburons around town than I’ve ever seen in my entire life.
(I wish I was exaggerating, but I’m being sincerely honest. And in case you’re unsure as to the vehicle I’m referring to, see below…)

tiburon

 

 

 

 

 

 

You may be wondering why this is such a big deal. It’s just a silver car, no?
A year and a half ago – this probably wouldn’t be such a big deal; I wouldn’t really care too much. But today, the overwhelming sights of this exact car is suffocating, frustrating and uncanny. That car brings back haunting memories of an asshole ex-boyfriend I’m continuously trying so hard to forget. (A gruesome story which I won’t get into – but all you need to know is that he’s a big, fat, jerk who deserves to be forgotten)

Anyways…
I initially thought I was going crazy. Actually, I’m still slightly convinced I might actually be crazy; another part of me tells me this is more than mind tricks.
At the beginning, I thought it might be a coincidence. I frequent the same places quite often- maybe I was just seeing the same car over and over. After recently cutting all communication with my ex, I thought that my sub-conscious was just having a hard time letting go. But as more time passes, I’ve completely convinced myself that this isn’t just my brain on overdrive. I’m almost positive that evil spirits in this world are messing with my head and my heart.
Because, I understand that these are somewhat attractive vehicles, but how is it that I see at least one a day, all over Kelowna.
(And, I assure you they’re not always the exact same silver Tiburon either. After months and months of these sightings, I’ve started paying closer attention to defining details – which only drives me more crazy)

If I could, I’d embrace this as some silliness caused by an active imagination – convincing myself that this city is in fact over-populated by numerous silver sports cars. But, I cant. It doesn’t make any sense and the whole scenario has this undesirable way of striking certain nerves in my soul. I get this eery feeling when I see that car – it’s unsettling, but almost like a gut instinct that’s intense and very confused.

In all honesty, this kind of thought process isn’t abnormal for me. I’ve always been slightly superstitious and wary of why things happen the way they do.
Once upon a time, I bought myself a bottle of DKNY “Be Delicious” perfume. It was one of my favourite purchases from my trip to NYC at the age of 17, and I couldn’t wait to smell like a fragrantly sweet, sour apple. (Ha!) Unfortunately, I’m always positive that perfume was cursed.
It smelled so divine, but every single time I wore it, something unfortunate would go down. Things wouldn’t work out in my favour, I would have a really frustrating day, and my boyfriend and I would often get in squabbles on the days I donned that apple scent. There was one time I was wearing it while out shopping with some friends downtown. While perusing through the racks at a clothing store, I caused an entire shelf of lotions to knock over and spill all over the new merchandise! (I’m also clumsy, but still – I blame it on the perfume. Luckily, I managed to leave the store before someone caught me and forced me into buying a whole bunch of chunky knit sweaters)
E
ventually, after too many horrendous disasters and bad days, I decided to put the perfume to rest and avoid it’s evil spell. I think the bottle, a silver apple shape, sits on the bathroom shelf collecting dust. I’m often tempted to pick it up and spritz a small quantity onto my wrist, but in the end, I decide it’s a risk not worth taking. 

I believe that wearing certain t-shirts, has the power to make for a better day and that a certain pair of leopard print underwear leads to a day worth smiling about. I swear by certain brands of deodorant and body wash for good luck. If I get to the grocery store and discover that my desired necessity isn’t available in a certain brand, colour, scent, or style- I get goosebumps and waves of anxiety shoot through my every limb. I’m a stickler for routine and consistency. I’ll admit I’m slightly insane, but I cannot help it!

It’s weird the way our brains work and the way our thoughts come together; it’s sometimes so bizarre and mind-boggling, but it’s all also kind of cool and fascinating. These characteristics, whether we consider them flaws or unique quirks, make each of us – who we are.

face

Can you relate? Do you ever feel like the world is trying to prove something to you?
Feel free to leave a comment and hopefully give me some hope that I’m not the only crazy one!
In the mean time, I’m going to cross my fingers and hope that wearing one of my favourite outfits brings me good luck, and no sightings of a certain familiar sports car

 

People, Change.

I made a mistake today. (not that this is anything new, I make mistakes all the time)
Today, I took one gigantic step backwards and dove right into the haunting of my past. Taking a break from the work routine and perusing social media outlets, I ventured over to the ex-boyfriend’s account to see how (un-satisfactory perhaps?) life was going for him.

Initially, I saw nothing of interest – until a certain post caught my eye. Turns out him and his new girlfriend were “braving the Coquihalla for the Lady Gaga concert”.
Um… interesting. 

Now, my musical tastes don’t peak at the thought of seeing Lady Gaga Live in Concert, but I’m pretty sure that in another time (and if I was the type to go ga-ga for Gaga), he would have never offered to accompany me to the show. If anything at all, he might have maybe bought me a ticket (although unlikely, considering those tickets probably cost a pretty penny, and he’d have to buy one for my stand-in date), OR I’d have to entice him with returning favours to join me in attendance for such an event.

Anyways, the point of this whole thing is this:

I find it sort of amusing, and somewhat frightening that people can always continue to surprise us; you think you know plenty about someone, only to eventually find out that maybe you never really knew them at all.
From the deepest darkest secrets, to great accomplishments and embarrassing flaws – at one point, you’re the keeper of every fact that may or may not define them. But as quickly as the scenario and circumstances of your relationship can change, that person you thought you knew all of the sudden becomes someone else; a stranger.

I’m sure that I too have been guilty of such personable changes, and maybe people held judgement against me for it (as I’m doing right now)
It’s just interesting. That’s all.

keep-calm-posters-people-change-quote

 

 

 

… and now I can’t help but wonder if he’s actually going to be standing up whilst singing and dancing along to “Born This Way”, or hoping that he doesn’t see any familiar faces in the crowd.

 

 

 

 

Getting Things Done in 2013.

Well here’s my bucket list for 2013. It’s just things I’ve been thinking about for quite sometime, but never got around to… probably because I had no money, I was too stressed out about making someone else happy, or I was too busy crying about how unhappy I was.
(it’s sad, I know. I’ll accept as many hugs as you want to offer)

I thought it’d be cool to find 213 things to do-  [I know that the year is actually 2013, but that’s a big feat] – but I originally started with 23. Since this was originally posted on January 2 – I’ve decided to add some more ideas! There’s just so many awesome, cool and fun things to do…

Anyways, here’s some things I should probably cross off the list this year:

1. Fly like a bird. It’s time to zip atop the trees and feel the wind in my face – Zipline adventure time!!

2. Take a reading break. A whole weekend dedicated to reading the stack of books I continuously fail to indulge in.

3. I’d like to paddle my little heart out on a dragon boat.

4. There needs to be more love letters; and I need to actually send them.

5. I’d like to kiss a man with a beautiful, kempt beard. (just, because)

6. Attend an East Indian Wedding. Endless days and nights of partying, fancy outfits, music and dancing…? Yes, please.

7. Spend less time judging my reflection. I have to embrace my body and be patient as I try to ‘perfect’ it.

8. Escape the noise pollution and city lights and lose myself in the presence of the star-filled skies.

9. Practice finding inner peace, and finally incorporate more yoga into my life.

10. Those boudoir shots from a few years back are getting quite stale… I should really update them this year.

11. Practice being domestic and stuff- must make at least one or two recipes from Dad’s cookbook gift.

12. Explore the entire length of the West Coast and end up in Disneyland. (Road trip!)

13. Visit the 2nd dirtiest place in the world: the Seattle gumwall

14. Skate ’round the rink at Rockefeller Centre, NYC.

15. Enjoy more spiderman kisses.

16. Get inked. Again. (Mom, don’t even start. Just smile, and accept it)

17.  Spend an entire day in bed, and not feel guilty about it.

18. Compete in the bikini class of a fitness show (Kelowna, May 2013!)

19. Run across the Capilano Suspension Bridge. Just because (and to continue to conquer my fear of heights)

20. Make a long-overdue trek to Vancouver Island.

21. Call my sister more often. Something like, once a month. (that’s better than not at all in the past 15 years!)

22. Pay off my Visa bill. (That poor thing is always maxed out)

23. Run the seawall. The WHOLE seawall!

24. Make green eggs and ham.

25.  Visit a psychic.  

26.  Treat my beautiful face to it’s very first facial.

27. Hike the Chief.  

28. Drop and complete 10 full push-ups. (I know, I’m a weakling)

There’s so many other things I should do, can do, and will likely do as this year progresses. But I’m just going to hang out with these ideas for a bit and see where life takes me.

Check back often – I’ll likely tweak this list and there’s a good probability that there will be stories, pictures, and adventures to blog about!

– J.