Dear Jen,
Damnit, I know your heart is broken. It sucks, and hurts more than you ever remember it possible.
But this – the crying, being sorry for yourself, the exhausting venture of feeling like absolutely nothing – needs to stop. Or at least start slowing down until it’s gone.
It was bad enough that your heart was shattered and now you’re trying to pick up the pieces but you’re exhausted too. You’re spending all your energy between being miserable and fighting for attention from someone who doesn’t deserve your attention – and you, are better than that.
You should never have to try and ‘win someone over’. It’s not your fault that someone out there doesn’t understand the awesome that you radiate every day, or that their weird personality isn’t compatible with your own.
You don’t have to prove yourself to people for their love.
Okay, so you liked him. A lot. He made you feel good, he made you feel beautiful. He let you be yourself without worry. But you have to believe me when I tell you that 1) he’s not the only one who can or does make you feel that way *look around you and think about the people in your life* and 2) you are all those things without him. If anything, he just somehow helped them become more prominent to you.
Go ahead and feel all the feelings. Be mad and throw things if you need to. Be sad and cry it all out. Get angry, go ahead and feel like shit. Hide yourself under a blanket for a few hours and avoid the world if that’s all you feel like doing for a while. It’s not wrong to feel this way, but don’t forget all those other times when you’ve felt so much better than this – and keep that in mind as something to get back to.
You are a good person. In fact, I’m sure a lot of people think you’re better than “good”. You are beautiful, inside and out. And there are plenty of people who admire, respect, and adore you simply because you are… you.
If this guy was really meant for you, he’d be here right now. If this dude actually respected you, he wouldn’t have ended things over a damn text message and continue to treat you like someone way below your worth. If he truly realized how fucking fantastic you are, he wouldn’t have walked away.
Let’s just be real – this guy, isn’t for you. He may look good and seem desirable on paper, but if you just take a second to step outside that little bubble world of yours, you might get a clear vision of all the reasons why he’s not as great as you think he is.
Love and lust have this crazy effect on us, and they make us do crazy things. They send us into a spin of overwhelming emotions and encourage us to react in irrational ways. Love and lust can change us for the better and the worst, and the good and the bad…
But you can’t forget who you are and the person you’ve always been. Do not lose the best attributes of yourself in this less-than-perfect time of your life.
It was good, then it was so good. Then it went bad, to sour, to completely rancid. No one likes when things go horribly wrong, but you’ve got to look for all the lessons to be learned from the people that come into your life ( and leave it). From this situation alone, there’s so much to learn as well.
A wise one once said, “you’ll be lucky to only go through this a few more times.” He’s right.
This isn’t the first heart break you’ve ever had, and it might not be the last – but you’ve done it before and you’re still here and you survived. If it happens again, you’ll get through it because you’ll be learn from it. When you learn, you will grow. You’ll be stronger and braver. You will keep evolving into a more incredible human being with every blow to your heart.
So c’mon, girl. It’s time to start believing in yourself again. Let it hurt… but not for too long. Life’s too short to waste time, so get ready to move on to better things, and a better you – because of this.
After all, that’s what you deserve.
Love, yourself.