new year – Jennifer Thomson

December 28, 2015December 31, 2015

Let’s Reflect: 2015

This time last year:

I was frantically trying to find a new phone to buy because I had just spilled coffee all over mine and it would no longer hold a charge. I desperately stressed myself out to get that new phone because I was about to venture up a mountain (alone) so I could meet up with and spend NYE with my latest crush (and what if I got lost or stuck or… something! I needed a way to communicate, just in case). On top of purchasing that brand new, recently released iPhone, the trip also cost me a new set of tire chains (legally required for the driving the road getting up the mountain) and a bruised heart (after all I had gone through to get up there safely, I barely even got an ‘at midnight kiss’ to ring in the new year).

Turns out: I lost cell reception right at the bottom of the mountain, all the way to the top and for the entire two days and nights I spent with a bunch of strangers. I didn’t end up using the non-refundable snow chains either.

Last year’s small series of events around this time did a pretty good job of properly depicting most of the year that happened before it.

It’s safe to say 2014 had been a bit of a chaotic mess.

2015 – was much different.

2015 was illuminating.

Every now and then, I scroll through my phone’s camera roll or my personal Instagram posts from the past 365 days. If I’m really bored, I take a trip down memory lane and click through a year’s worth of Facebook posts. Those, along with a year’s worth of memories which I’ve tucked safely within my heart, are bright and shiny and happy.

2015 was full of all sorts of spectacular and shining moments.

Like spending my birthday, running through the forest and across the suspension bridge, with a phenomenal friend who I adore so much. And chasing sunrises with some of the raddest people in this city. There was a weekend in Vegas with some of the best ladies I know (which included an out-of-this-world-sexy lap dance, all the free drinks, and a contact who I saved in my phone as “Vegas Husband Dave” *which I keep saved as a constant reason to laugh and smile about*). There was also an entire week in New York City with Mum – I can’t explain how simply lovely it was to spend some quality time in the most amazing city, with the most loved woman in my entire life.

This was the year I got to meet Keith Urban, and shake his hand, and hug him, and tell him I ‘love’ him. It was also the year I jumped out of a plane with an almost stranger – who actually turned out to be a wonderful human being and someone I’m glad to call a friend. This was the year of weddings, babies, and a whole handful of little, but significant moments, that radiate inside my heart and keep me glowing with happiness.

2015: the year I confidently took a picture in bikini and posted it on social media without any hesitation.

2015: the year I bravely stripped down to lacy lingerie for a photoshoot and had no-fear in sharing those with others.

—> WHOA.

2015 was the year I made old friendships better, built new friendships, and solidified a tribe of people who love like I do. With this entire squad on my side, I’ve pushed forward and upwards – smiling, dancing, laughing, and exploding with happy tears on so many more occasions than I have experienced in a very long time.

What an amazing feeling.

2015 has been a good year; a year that gave me a lot of reasons to love my life – mostly thanks to the people in it.

I am so lucky (HASHTAG: BLESSED) to know the people that I do. There is this bunch of wildly unbelievable and truly sensational human beings that I know – and I get to call them: friends.

My mentors. My never-ending support systems. My best friends. My ride or dies. My never-will-you-leave-my-side peeps.

My family – a mother and father, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews, etc. who love so damn hard — it’s overwhelming, in the best way possible.

All of these people inspire me and encourage me to be the best. They continuously share their wisdom and offer a voice of reason. All of these people are gifted souls who enhance my life with music, words, and unreal experiences. They are fascinating humans who make my life better, because they’re honest, kind, and good-hearted people.

All of these people – their support, the way they believe in me, how they have opened so many doors to incredible opportunities and adventures and inspiring, eye-opening life moments – it’s so fcking cool.

They are the best. And I love them for being in my life.

2015 is a year I will hold in my heart always, because it was the year I felt good and looked forward to every day and the people I got to spend my time with. It was a year where I created good memories, and smiled a lot.

Here’s to another year of life, as crazy as it always is.

2015, I loved you. Thank you for being illuminating.

2016 – BRING IT ON.

December 31, 2012December 31, 2012

The Rule of 2013

Everyone’s talking about their resolutions and such for the new year ahead.
I too have been down that road, but I’ve honestly never stayed true to many of them. I usually forget about them, or only half commit myself to them, which results in sub-par results.

So, I’ve decided to go into this with a different approach. I’ve made a ‘mantra’ for myself, a word of the year.

SELFISH.

In 2013, I will be selfish.

I will go with every urgent gut instinct that kicks in and I’m going to follow my heart’s every desire. When I want to do something, I’ll do it; if it’s something (an idea, a concept, a goal) that will make me happy, I’ll jump on board. When decisions need to be made that affect anyone including myself, I will be at the top of the priority list.

I’m going to be more kind to myself, pay more attention to myself and my needs. I’m going to cater to my own self-confidence, personal happiness, and complete contentment. I’m going to enjoy being me.

In 2013, I will read more books, blog more happy thoughts, and expand my potential. I will make this city I live in my “home”, and spend less time grasping at the life I left behind. I plan on spending this year making pleasant memories, and I hope I can make it a year of a lot less sad, sorrow filled tears.

2013 is going to be my year and I’m going to do things my way. I’ve spent too much time as of late being concerned about what others think and say, trying much too hard to keep others pleased – which more often than not, leaves me in a worn out, miserable, stressed and less than satisfactory state.

I know this all might sound completely cliche and vague. It most likely sounds incredibly self-absorbed and I don’t really care. I haven’t set any definitive and time sensitive goals like “go skydiving” or “run a 10k marathon” or “successfully complete 30 burpees in 1 minute by March 3rd” – because that’s not what I want, and it’s not how I want to live my life. I will create a bucket list of many a thing I’d like to accomplish, but that’s not the point here; those small (or large) feats won’t be the drive of 2013.
My goal in this new year is to be more self-aware, feel good and love almost every single moment of my life.

2013 is about embracing myself and doing everything I personally can to be the best me, in my own eyes.

In 2013, I will be selfish.

December 28, 2012December 28, 2012

The World Didn’t End; Thankfully, 2012 Will.

The end of 2012 cannot come fast enough.

Although this year was one of amazing, phenomenal, and epic wondrous moments for many (as seen through many social media forums and heard through word-of-mouth, and so forth), it was somewhat frustrating and challenging in this little world of mine.

This was the year, that everything changed and reality hit. I learned how uneasy life can be, and that the ways we wish or want things to unfold, isn’t always a possibility regardless of any efforts we exude. More than once, I was reassured of the fact that when we make mistakes or simple bad decisions, we must eventually endure unpleasant or unfortunate consequences.
At one point this year, I felt the unbearable feeling of having my heart shatter to a million pieces. All too often, I cried until my eyes stung, I felt ill to my stomach for so many reasons, and there were many times when I felt like the world around me was collapsing while I was helpless to save it. My heart and soul were put through the wringer on repeat, and I always felt like I was on an emotional, physical, and life challenging roller coaster. Miserable, uncomfortable, unsatisfied with everything – I hit somewhere pretty close to rock bottom at one point. 2012 was definitely not my best year to date, and I can’t wait to end it and forget most of it.

In all it’s ugly glory, the good news is that 2012 wasn’t a complete write off. There were a few lessons I managed to learn from every hardship I was put through, and a few things I can take with me into a better future.

I learned that incorporating small, good deeds into your lifestyle makes you feel better about yourself and the life you live. I discovered the power of social media, and managed to land myself two freelance writing positions, just by putting myself out there in the Twitter-world. My eyes were re-opened to how lucky I am to live where I do. I have a new-found pride of being a calling British Columbia my home province and being a born and raised Vancouver girl. Best of all, I was reassured that my life is full of amazing people that worry about me, care about me, love me, miss me, and believe in me. (not that I forgot this, but sometimes it doesn’t hurt to be gently reminded)

The most valuable lesson I learned this year, was that you don’t always have to be ‘strong’. For the longest time, I dealt with being unhappy and pushed through the hard times, because I didn’t know how to ask for help; I didn’t realize how badly I needed help and that it was okay to ask for help. I wasn’t aware of how necessary it was to let people in and make things better.
This past May, I faced one of my biggest fears. I caved and admitted to not being ‘okay’. It lead to me quitting my job, and packing up my apartment so my parents could move me back into their home. It wasn’t easy to put myself in that spot of vulnerability; I felt selfish, helpless and I felt like I had failed and that I had let everyone, including myself, down.
Luckily, I didn’t (at least, that’s what they continue to assure me of). In the midst of all the upset, things somehow worked out the way they were supposed to. Although I don’t always believe it when they say “things happen for a reason”, things continue to get better and as of today, it seems as though everything worked out the way it was supposed to. Life, as I always say, will never be ‘perfect’, but I’m hoping that a new year and an absolute fresh start brings small amounts of magic and even just some extra good fortune.

I look back at so many moments of this painful year, and breathe a sigh of relief that it’s almost over. Reminded of how difficult, upsetting, and almost unbearable so many days and nights were, I know that the only thing that got me through, were the incredible human beings I keep close.
The inspiring group of people who encouraged me to be a better person, who helped me find my calling, who pushed to keep going when I didn’t think I could make it. The most generous, caring, loving, and adoring people who went out of their way to make me feel myself, when I was a fish completely out of water; the people who opened their arms and welcomed me into their lives without judgment.
The amazing, good-hearted, loving people who held my hand, listened to me cry, and stuck by me when I was at my worst. Despite being twice my age or having strong ties to someone I loathe, regardless of the fact that some will always cheer for the Edmonton Oilers and forever try to put me in orange and blue; even though some live too far away, are very busy, and although I don’t get to see many of these people as often as I’ve always wanted – they’re always there, without question or request.

Every single person who went out of their way to make me smile, laugh, and just be happy; to each incredible human being who believed in me, mentored me, and made life easier to grasp; all these people and a few more, kept me fighting through the year. To you, I can’t express enough good words. But you know who you are… and I adore you. I’m hoping you stay close by in some way, some how, and share your friendship with me as we take on a better, greater, new year.

December 21^st didn’t bring the end of the world, but midnight on December 31^st will bring an end to this agonizing year – and I can’t wait.
If I make one promise to myself, it’s that 2013 will be my year of awesome. I won’t be afraid to listen to my heart, follow my gut instincts, and do what makes me happy. A new year, an even better me.

2013, I’m ready.