love yourself

I am the type of person who learns about life’s realities, by making fast choices and impulse decisions. I follow my gut instincts, follow my own heart, and do things according to my own schedule, wants, needs, and desires.

My life is a little insane, but I guess that’s what makes it worth living. It’s the pure madness of it all, that usually gives me something to write about (a characteristic which I have a love/hate relationship with).

This weekend didn’t veer far from my path of endless adventures. I drove for 3 hours with the ugly, fluorescent “Check Engine” light haunting me from my dashboard, I spent 20 minutes with a Tarot Card reader who forecasted the next 6 months of my life. My car then broke down pretty much in the middle of nowhere, I spent the night in a dingy hotel, and my car is potentially facing it’s death.

Sitting in my broken car waiting for a tow truck, and hoping that the semi-trucks speeding past me wouldn’t blow me off the road, I momentarily wished I could switch lives with someone. For a moment, I wondered what it would be like to experience an ‘ordinary’ life… where simple things happened and each day just came and went.

It sounded relaxing; the thought of living without unexpected worry seemed intriguing…
but I quickly caught myself. How boring would a simple, ‘ordinary’ life be? What would I ever write about? And what stories would I share with (other people’s) grandchildren when I’m stuck in a rocking chair at the age of 103?

Sure – my life is so incredibly far from perfect. Most times, it’s agonizing, frustrating, stressful and insane. But why not embrace it? I can’t change it, so I’ve gotta’ make the best of it.

I’m going to love my life – the beautiful, chaotic mess it is.

Perfection isn’t achievable, but it doesn’t stop me from always striving for it.
And while I know I will never reach that level of completely perfect – keeping it in mind consistently motivates me to be my ultimate best as much as possible.

Unfortunately, along the way, I’m my own worst critic. I nit pick, I find every flaw, I dwell on anything I consider an inadequate quality. I hardly accept myself in the way others will compliment me and I always continually harshly criticizing myself.

The other day, while I was sweating profusely on the elliptical at the gym – I decided that I need to stop and appreciate myself. I need to spend more time embracing and loving myself, and I need to open my eyes to the appealing features that others tell me about. It’s time to appreciate what I do have, instead of always wishing for things I am not.

So here I am, trying to think of 5 things I love about myself. This is what I’ve come up with:

1. My legs.
(someone once nicknamed me “Miss Million Dollar Legs”, so I guess they’re pretty fantastic)

2. The little indent at the tip of my nose.
(unless you run your finger across it, you can’t really tell it’s there – I don’t know why, but it fascinates me and I’m easily amused by it)

3. A dimple on the right side of my cheek that I just recently discovered.
(I love dimples. Yay!)

4. My skin tone.
(although I often look at myself with disgust of how ‘pale’ I am, I’m actually fairly tan compared to the average white person – and come summer, the tan comes so easily!)

5. My eyes.
(I wish they were a different colour… but y’know, there’s something intriguing about them.)

That wasn’t easy, but it’s a start. At least now, I can look at myself in the mirror and say “Hey, you’re not too shabby.”

Try it out, and find even just one thing you enjoy about yourself.
Don’t forget to love yourself, more often than not. You’re beautiful, just the way you are. Trust me!

Tag: love yourself

Love, Myself.