Babies are adorable.
I like their tiny fingers and their squishy, delicate skin. I like the way the way the scent of baby powder lingers on their skin and makes them irresistible.
I love the way they instinctively burst into excited smiles for the simplest, in-explainable things.
I think babies are wonderful.
But, I don’t want a baby.
MY CLOCK ISN’T TICKING
Could it be that someone forgot to set my inner baby alarm clock. Maybe I don’t even have one?
I wonder if someone broke it, when they also broke my heart?
Or maybe it’s somewhere, lost inside me, overwhelmed by desires to for other things – like travelling, exploring, adventuring, and living my own life.
Go ahead and call me selfish for that last comment. I don’t care.
I still don’t want a baby.
MY LIFE DOES NOT REQUIRE A BABY TO BE COMPLETE
Hello, I’m Jen.
I wake up around 5am every day, just so I can get a serious sweat on. My sweaty workouts just don’t feel as good during other day parts, and my days just don’t feel the same without my morning sweat session.
Sometimes, I collect the coolest people I know and hike a mountain in the middle of the night so we can watch the sun rise. It sounds crazy, but it’s worth it – every.single.time.
Occasionally, I take spontaneous road trips. I set off on adventures with no set destination or return. On more than one occasion, I’ve spent entire days in the great outdoors, without a care in the world and no cell phone reception – this is the definition of pure bliss.
I enjoy travelling to exciting places for weeks at a time. I enjoy spending my money on myself. I enjoy pampering myself and treating myself to nice things.
Believe me when I say that I’m happy for you and your bundle of joy. My “Congratulations” are sincere about your growing family, and this new adventure that you are embarking on. I really am happy that you’re happy.
BUT…
I like my life how it is now. I have freedom, independence, and endless opportunities to be myself.
And, I just don’t feel the need to include a mini-me into it.
Sorry… I’m not sorry.
I don’t want a baby.
NO “REGIS”, THAT IS NOT MY FINAL ANSWER
Did I say that I never, ever, wanted a child? No.
I just don’t plan on purposely having one anytime soon.
Related: I don’t want to ever be one of those people who tries to have a baby – to the point of making it a chore. If I one day just happen to get pregnant, then I promise you – I will love the shit out of that beautiful miracle.
But I don’t need to make ‘my baby’ happen. Having my own baby isn’t something that has to happen.
If I go through my whole life without being a mother, I don’t know that I’ll feel inadequate. I mean, I can’t predict the future, but I know right now that I’m doing just fine without one.
My life goals don’t revolve solely around getting married and having babies. I’m not ready to be defined solely as being someone else’s mother.I believe that there’s a lot more that I can be. Also, it’s the year 2015, and I know that there’s so much more to live for.
WHO KNOWS
Maybe I will get married and have a baby. Or I’ll have a baby and then get married. Or maybe I won’t.
When and if my baby alarm clock sounds off, I’ll adjust my life accordingly.
Until then, there’s a whole lot of sweet dreams to live out.
And none of them include a baby.