The Best Me – Page 3 – Jennifer Thomson

June 13, 2014June 13, 2014

Confession: I Cheated

17 is a scary time to fall in love with someone.

Like many people who fall rapidly from lust to love with someone for the first time, I had no idea what I was doing or getting myself into. I didn’t know where the suffocating honeymoon traits were supposed to end and where realistic approaches to spending time with someone came into play.

In the minimal moments we spent apart, I thought about him. When they happened more often than not, I longed for him. I understood that we both deserved personal space to do our own thing, but I couldn’t help but miss him.

Just at the tail end of my teenage years, I still held tight to my belief of my fairy-tale like, romantic comedy inspired love. When the “I love you” texts weren’t constant or when the affection wasn’t excessive and overwhelming, I worried slightly.

It didn’t help when rumours started swirling that he was talking to other girls I’d never heard about and my very own friends. I panicked, of course. When I confronted him, he denied it. Of course.

This was the part when I was supposed to walk away. Tell him to pay attention to me and treat me like he loved me, or say goodbye.

But, my heart didn’t really want to get rid of him. His constant denial made it obvious that he wasn’t going to dramatically change anything, because he didn’t feel like he was doing anything wrong.

Selfishly, I took matters into my own hands – trying to have the best of both worlds: a boyfriend, and someone to kiss when my boyfriend was less loving than usual. Looking back now, I realize how foolish I was.

I can’t say anything that will justify me kissing another guy when I had a boyfriend. There is no excuse for lying to him about where I was, who I was with, and what I was doing – even if he wasn’t treating me right.

I was punished for my poor decisions. Our trust was completely broken, which played a part in our eventual break up farther down the road.

Here’s what I learned:

Unhappiness is something to talk about. Speak up, explain what’s wrong, and figure out how you are going to fix it – together.

Cheating is unfair and stupid. Once it’s done, you can’t take it back; the moments of pleasure aren’t worth it and the pain you feel or cause are ultimately impossible to fix.

Don’t do it.
Because I did it once when I was 17, and I was wrong.

February 20, 2013February 22, 2013

26 Things

Well, I turn 26 today.

I’m not happy about it, but I’m not as bummed as I expected I’d be (I have a sort of-fear of getting old). Anyways, 25 was a year of ridiculousness, and I’m hoping the 26th year of my life will be a little more awesome.

I thought about making a list of 26 things I’ve learned in my 26 years of life, but I’ve probably learned 26 lessons in just this week alone and I’m not sure I have enough time to list them in any comprehensible order. Instead, I’m compiling a list of things I know right off the top of my head…

So, if you ever wanted to know a little more about me- here’s 26 facts:

1. I prefer my ‘nickname’ spelt with 1 ‘N’.—> J-E-N.

2. I have a serious sweet tooth. Probably because my mom used to come home from work every day with something yummy to make me smile, and now I’ve always got a serious craving for it and can barely live without sugary sweetness.

3. I dislike eating other people’s leftovers. If it wasn’t on my plate to begin with, if someone else cooked it or touched it to their utensils…I want nothing to do with it. And if it’s been sitting in your fridge since last night, in an old, worn out Tupperware container – gross.

4. I can’t burp on command. I just don’t know how, and it makes me a little sad.

5. My dream car is a steel grey, Honda Accord coupe, with a sunroof, spoiler and black leather seats.

6. I live in Lululemon pants. They’re are incredibly comfortable, they make my butt look good, and they don’t cut circulation off my gigantic quads.
(seriously)

7. I have a really hard time drinking water without flavouring it with Crystal Lite.

8. I’m a sucker for blue eyes, and dirty blonde hair.
(This is probably something I inherited from my mother. She dreams of a beautiful grandchild with these – and other unlikely- features)

9. I don’t really have any desires to have children
(perhaps my “Mommy” gene is a little late to kick in).
I promise to be the best auntie, baby-sitter, god parent, or whatever else – but at the moment, I just don’t want any children of my own.

10. (BUT) If I did have children – I’d name them Mackenzie, Victoria, Oliver, Cole, and Ethan.

11. I have a serious fear of spiders, heights, and anything that causes sparks/loud noises.

12. I didn’t learn/try to pump my own gas until a year (or a year and a half) after I got my driver’s license. I honestly thought my car might explode or catch fire…
(don’t ask)

13. Against my will, I finally learned to do laundry when I was 20 years old. Before that, I used to fill up my bathtub with laundry detergent and swirl my clothes around by hand.
(I’m sad, I know)

14. TV guilty pleasures: Young & the Restless, Teen Mom, Sex and the City.

15. I really want my future home to have secret trap doors, one of those swivelling libraries, and a ‘bat cave’.

16. I am a stickler for a routine and I get really upset when things don’t go according to plan.

17. Celebrity crushes: Michael Buble, Paul Rudd, Gerard Butler, Emma Stone, Emma Watson, Mila Kunis.

18. I can’t stand people who idolize celebrities to the point of wasting endless paycheques on their product lines, P-V-R-ing every episode of their pointless TV shows, following their every tweet, quote, appearance, etc. GET A LIFE.

19. I also can’t stand fake people. Why can’t you just be real, and be yourself? I’d like you much better that way.

19. If you want to take me out for drinks, get ready to buy plenty of tequila shots. That’s it, that’s all.

20. I take the fastest showers, because I need my showers to be scalding hot.

21. That being said, when I buy my home – one of it’s major selling features will be a beautiful, large shower with a rainfall shower head.

22. I am a hopeless, hopeless romantic. I may not seem super girly – but I will write you love letters, go out of my way to perform (sometimes cheesy) acts of lust, and I expect Prince Charming to sweep me off my feet.

23. I have 4 tattoos, plans for a few more, and I desperately want a sleeve (once I figure out a design for it).

24. I can’t stand when people respond to something I say or do with “good girl”. (I am not a 5 year old child with pig tails and a frilly dress)

25. I think (properly done and proportionate) fake breasts are really nice. If I didn’t already have a pair of decent-sized real ones, I’d debate investing in some.

26. I have a really hard time watching sci-fi films and certain action films, just because I know those situations could never happen in real life. I know I should go into it with an open imagination, but I can’t.

There’s plenty more things to know about me; 26 random facts is just a start. You’ll have to find out the rest of my awesome world on your own.

But, on a side note – here’s to 26 more years of becoming a fascinating person, and then 26 more after that. And maybe even 26 more after that…

[Oh, and #27. I have a thing for Pandas; they’ve been one of my favourite animals since elementary school.]

February 20, 2013

Love, Myself.

I am the type of person who learns about life’s realities, by making fast choices and impulse decisions. I follow my gut instincts, follow my own heart, and do things according to my own schedule, wants, needs, and desires.

My life is a little insane, but I guess that’s what makes it worth living. It’s the pure madness of it all, that usually gives me something to write about (a characteristic which I have a love/hate relationship with).

This weekend didn’t veer far from my path of endless adventures. I drove for 3 hours with the ugly, fluorescent “Check Engine” light haunting me from my dashboard, I spent 20 minutes with a Tarot Card reader who forecasted the next 6 months of my life. My car then broke down pretty much in the middle of nowhere, I spent the night in a dingy hotel, and my car is potentially facing it’s death.

Sitting in my broken car waiting for a tow truck, and hoping that the semi-trucks speeding past me wouldn’t blow me off the road, I momentarily wished I could switch lives with someone. For a moment, I wondered what it would be like to experience an ‘ordinary’ life… where simple things happened and each day just came and went.

It sounded relaxing; the thought of living without unexpected worry seemed intriguing…
but I quickly caught myself. How boring would a simple, ‘ordinary’ life be? What would I ever write about? And what stories would I share with (other people’s) grandchildren when I’m stuck in a rocking chair at the age of 103?

Sure – my life is so incredibly far from perfect. Most times, it’s agonizing, frustrating, stressful and insane. But why not embrace it? I can’t change it, so I’ve gotta’ make the best of it.

I’m going to love my life – the beautiful, chaotic mess it is.