Little Thoughts. – Page 13 – Jennifer Thomson

October 14, 2013October 14, 2013

Love and Thanks.

We should always spend a little time to reflect on the reasons we have to smile, but Thanksgiving is a special occasion to devote a little bit of extra gratitude to the little things that make our life a happier one.

For the first time in 2 years, I don’t have to board a plane or drive for hours just to be with the people I adore the most; for that, I’m incredibly grateful. But aside from waking up in my own bed, in the city I’ve loved all my life – this year during the most humble holiday of the year…

I’m most thankful for love.

Before you think this is going to turn into some sappy post about the love of my life and some guy who swept me off my feet – don’t worry it’s not. Because although I’m a huge hopeless romantic and usually get wrapped up in that cheesy, love of my life kind of stuff (and I am thankful to have found ‘love-love’ this year) I’m actually talking about the unconditional, raw, and genuine love from friends, family, and random strangers.

I’m thankful for family members who call me just to make sure I’m okay and to tell me that they miss me, for cousins who might as well be my brothers, and for aunts/uncles who play the role as my parents because they love me as their own.

I talk about being an only child all the time, but it’s not entirely true, and I’m grateful to have a half siblings that I can turn to when I need to – despite the fact that there’s a huge distances between where we live, our age, and our personalities. It’s cool to know that even though our lives have always been completely separated, we can still be a family and love each other as so.

I consider myself extremely lucky to have met some of the most compassionate, wonderful, and authentically beautiful human beings on the planet. Even better, is that I get to call them my friends.

I’m thankful to have good people with good hearts, who hold my hand and let me lean on their shoulder when I need it the most. I’m so happy to know people who don’t judge me on my flaws, encourage my better qualities, and who believe in me more than I sometimes believe in myself.

I’m grateful for old friends who found their way back into my life and made it better, and to random strangers who wiggled their way into my heart. There’s also certain, very special individuals who love me against all odds and dramatic life events – and I’m glad you’re here.

Every day, I feel overwhelmed with the love I’m offered by all sorts of different, amazing people in my life. Girls, guys, mentors, kindred souls and fellow warriors who dish out the best hugs, the most valuable advice and who stand behind me no matter my mood. They’re the people who sit with me when I’m sad, let me be mad, and force me to smile when I need a good reminder of how awesome this life is.

Life is a whole lot more beautiful because the love I share with so many incredible human beings. I hope you all know who you are – and I thank you for sharing a little bit of your hearts.

I’ve definitely got a soft spot for every single one of you in mine.

September 13, 2013March 22, 2017

Losing at “Love”.

I am smart enough to realize that I don’t need you, despite what I once believed. I know that we truthfully aren’t meant to be, and that we’re better off as friends. I quite aware of all this, and most of the time, I’m okay with it.

But that’s when you’re not around, and when I haven’t seen or talked to you in a while.
As soon as I see you again, everything changes.
I remember how handsome you are and I’m reminded of your great tastes in music and casual attire. Without much effort, you make me laugh. Being in your presence gives me butterflies and makes me weak at the knees.
When I’m with you, the world stops. Every time I see you, it’s like I fall harder and faster than the time before. In a quick moment, you steal my heart and all the beliefs I had about you and I completely disappear. Suddenly, I want you – so bad.

You’re bad news, you’re trouble. I was once your rebound, and I’ll likely never be your ‘first choice’. Somehow, you manage to charm me into forgetting all the times you made me very angry and caused me incredible frustration. I momentarily dismiss your lack of respect for me, your minimal efforts with me. Your charisma is overwhelming and powerful; my defense and willpower is weak.

I almost believe you might have changed, that maybe with a little extra effort, this all might be possible. Maybe, this might be real this time.
But it never is. And I’m just filled with false hope.

On the surface, I’m captured by lust and the dreams of a fairytale romance. But deep within me, my heart is just breaking along the same spots where you’ve shattered it before.

This isn’t love, it’s a game. And for the millionth time, I’ve lost again.

Photo Credit: http://bit.ly/1e9LoXn

August 8, 2013August 8, 2013

Baby Fever…

I was never the girl excessively enthusiastic about having babies, but now I’m at the point in my life where people obviously think that I should (at the very least) be thinking about having babies.

As if consistent nagging from my mother isn’t enough, there seem to be reminders everywhere. I’m not sure if it has to do with the recent NHL lockout or just an abundance of sexual chemistry floating around (that obviously wasn’t in the air I was breathing) – but there are pregnant women and newborn babies everywhere I look. I do adore children and I absolutely admire all the women who endure 9 months of pregnancy – including the before/after/during effects. But the truth is that I actually have no desire to get pregnant… which seems to be quite a big shocker to many people I’ve shared that with.

People keep telling me how magical the whole process of creating a new human being is. They try to explain how wonderful it is to watch your own child grow, while noticing physical, emotional, and habitual similiarities between them and you. I can understand the unexplainable beauty or desire of having a baby. I just don’t want to experience it.

My decision against producing my own child is just the same as people choosing to avoid life experiences because of their own fears, opinions, and personal tastes. I willingly admit to being frightened by the (commonly) uncomfortable pregnant moments and the concept of pushing a baby out of your body. I’ve heard horror stories, and they’ve all convinced me that I’m not enticed to take a chance of experiencing any of the possible aches and pains.

All that being said, I’ve seriously considered starting a family one day with the right person; I’ve even picked out a few of my favourite baby names. But when the time is right and I’m ready to be a mom, I don’t plan on popping out my own child. I’m definitely on board with adopting a beautiful child, despite the fact that many people have tried to change my mind.

While it’s very possible that I might eventually change my decision, in the event that my baby fever spikes, but for now…

I’m not pregnant, and I don’t plan on getting pregnant.

Sorry Mom.

Photo Credit: http://shutr.bz/15SclsK